Who Am I?

My home harbors an unlikely new resident - a woman with a fiberglass body and a scarred face. An unlikely presence beside the bay window where the sun’s rays are caressing, she stands. Her name is Shakti, or the goddess of strength. She was born in my studio, and her face was brought to life by my passion and my paintbrush. She is not a figment of my imagination; instead, she is absolute beauty.

 Reading the newspaper one morning, I came across a girl’s photograph, one who had survived an acid attack. After a long hospital stay she returned to her job, scarred but unbowed, her face mute testimony to the depraved deed of the perpetrator.  There had been a spate of acid attacks in my city, New Delhi. But it was her image that kept recurring to haunt me. She magically appeared in the classroom, as I gazed outside the window, during lunch break, when I chatted with friends, and at night when I tried to sleep.

I wanted to meet her, know her. After several unsuccessful attempts to glean her whereabouts from the newspaper office, I decided to resurrect her in three dimensions. This was the most memorable experience of my life. I began sculpting her. I painted her unblemished cheeks, aquiline nose and parted lips as I imagined her to have been. Then, I began painting her trauma. With each brush-stroke, my hands quivered as I imagined the pain of her acid burns. Fortunately, I did not feel the physical pain, but psychologically, I had borne the brunt of her trauma. It kept reviving as I corroded her body. There were moments where my fingers could no longer paint this horrid sight and my heart could not begin to imagine her pain. But to me, each mark on her body is a symbol of strength. She is absolute beauty in my life. Her fiberglass body is stronger than my flesh. Her hollow heart is heavier than my soul. Her burnt body is more alluring than my body shape. As she stands in my living room, my family members question, ‘what negative things are you drawing? Is she a ghost?  This is scary!’ My sister slyly peeps in the door and winks at me, gesturing a thumbs-up!

Today, ready to stride forward, I understand that as a global citizen to be, I am, like my artwork, metamorphosing to become the best version of myself. Shakti has been my guiding light, my daimon. There has always been some kind of mystery in the idea of the goddess constantly watching me. I am ready to unfurl my wings and fly, but not like Icarus, no never like Icarus. Instead like Shakti who gathers her strength and soars.